I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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