i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
