dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
My cat gives me a boner
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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