i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
