Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
My room smells like vodka and shame
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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