I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
