Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
