i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
