She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
