So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
