sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
