Don't make out with my wife yet
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
