my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
3pm strippers are depressing
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
