Buhtt sex?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
