Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I am spending my child support on dildos
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
