guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize