She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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