You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
