i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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