dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
