nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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