I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize