Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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