I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
