i just wanna soil my oats bro
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize