i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It's never too late to be topless.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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