Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
