Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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