ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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