that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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