therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
