He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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