Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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