Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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