I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize