when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
