I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
