I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
