in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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