My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
