I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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