I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
