if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
