This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
