can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
