Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Randomize
