I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
