Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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