just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
