Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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