I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
When did angry sex become our thing?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
