I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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