you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
