It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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