this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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