i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
