I think I am morally bankrupt
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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