whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
