where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
