I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
